Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
