I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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