you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
