It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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