I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
