i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
