I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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