This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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