Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
