We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
