So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
