He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
