I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
