I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
