Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
