he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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