I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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