im about as happy as oj after his trial
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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