Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
