so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
