Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Randomize
