you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My vagina just clenched in fear
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