If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
