yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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