ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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