it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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