party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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