So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
