Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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