I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
tell me about the fingering
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