forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
