We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
we're making bets on your personal life
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
