I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
