Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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