Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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