sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
What a dumb baby whore.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
