If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
