Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
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