I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
