all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
