...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
