White coat. Heels.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
