I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
