jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
