I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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