Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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