Duck Duck Cougar?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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