listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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