just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
