remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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