I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Even my vagina gasped.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
